What's going on?

I'm experiencing stress and feeling very down. It's a rare thing for me. There are several factors contributing to it, none of which would normally cause me any trouble.

Yesterday I wasn't hungry. That's weird too. I ate none-the-less, but not until later than usual. I am a classic emotional eater. This morning I didn't fancy breakfast. WTF!! It's usually the first thing I do. I meant to bring something to work for breakfast but I forgot, now I'm hungry.

We heard last Friday that a good friend of ours had committed suicide. It's knocked me for six. I think that's probably why everything else is getting to me. How I feel can be nothing on what his wife's going through. I'm telling myself to pull myself together. I've always been strong and have a bad habit of treating other people's weaknesses with contempt. I realise that it's natural to feel this emotion, but I really don't like it at all!

As for the diet - well - I didn't even go to WW yesterday. I was finding this emotion thing so difficult that I went to the pub with a friend for a couple of pints instead. Call me an alcoholic if you like, but it made me feel better for a while. Then last night I reorganised the desk at home, and cleaned!! Yeah cleaned. FFS - what is wrong with me?

I lost 3lbs!!

I'm feeling rather pleased with myself. It's getting harder to stick to healthy eating (or should I say got harder) 10 months in. My early enthusiasm and drive was all used up. But I did it. And I embraced hunger too. I know people say you don't have to be hungry to lose weight, and I'd agree with that, but at the same time, its actually good to allow yourself to experience hunger from time to time ... I hadn't for years before I started this diet in January!!

So Yay!!! Hopefully this is that start of me being back on a diet, and long may it continue :)

I've just realised ...

that to get to the "healthy" BMI of 25, I'd actually have to lose 8 stone in total rather than the planned 6. Seeing as I'm struggling to get past 3 stone at the moment, 8 stone seems rather overly ambitious!! Plus I can't imagine there'd be anything left of me at that weight! Well actually that's not true. 8 stone would take me to 10st 12 and I can actually remember being 10st 10 in my teens, although maybe I'm a little taller now? Maybe not. I'm leaving my target at 6 stone for now, but it's given me food for thought.

And I resisted the urge to eat more the other day. Hopefully I'm on track for a loss this week. :D

Hungry's good, right?

I'm just trying to beat it into my thick skull that being hungry is good. I've really tried to get back to being good on my diet and I've had some successes. A large bag of onion rings (the maize snacks) over the weekend wasn't one of them. But today I've had my cereal for breakfast, a big salad with Feta cheese(light) and 2 plums so far but I'm still hungry. So, do I attack my emergency Ryvita to avoid a crisis moment at the vending machine, or do I keep telling myself ... "hungry is good, hungry is good, hungry is good ..." ??

Jammy ...

After giving myself a hard time yesterday, I got on the scales at WW and I'd lost 2½ pounds!! Yay! Jammy git is a phrase that comes to mind. So that's even more reason for me to be good this week. So what did I do last night? Go to the pub straight from work, drink 3 pints of Moretti (Italian lager beer) and then go home and have an unplanned-ahead meal which ended up being cheese, bacon, onion & pepper omlette with 2 sausages on the side. Bah! I need to plan. Later today I'm gonna do a shop online and get some more good stuff in. I should consult some WW recipes first too.